Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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