so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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