Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
