Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
