New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
