He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My penis needs a shock collar
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
