no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
