he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
