So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
