dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
where does the pee come out of this thing
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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