There is no way he is gay with that hair.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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