You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
