I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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