he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
