He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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