no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Come share oat with me in your robe
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
