something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
