Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize