2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
