the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
