I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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