12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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