You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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