At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
