biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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