i would punch a child for taco bell
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
