How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
