you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
