Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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