guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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