piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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