Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
