I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
