he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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