Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
vagina is talking i cant
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
