Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
