so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
