you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
