I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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