my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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