Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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