All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I am naked and annoyed.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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