Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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