you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize