i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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