i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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