I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
