I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize