I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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