come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think I am morally bankrupt
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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