You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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