do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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