I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
