Swine flu. Run for my life!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
