I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
