In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
