Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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