My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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