Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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